writing

It’s inside of me, it unexpectedly came

Sometimes it comes to me as a burning fire of passion, with a hint of rage

This voice, these words inside of me that need to get out

It controls me until I let it leak out through pen and let in bleed, sink and dance onto the paper

Sometimes it stays in me, floating around , not sure if it wants to come out

Afraid to come out because then these floating thoughts would become real, leaving the door open to too many chances

There is a chance to be free, to open up new insight and vision, to break down walls, to be powerful or just bring peace

Or a chance to be tainted, criticized and judged

A chance to open wounds, unseen or unfelt feelings, feelings that are not ready to be felt again

Maybe I’m afraid to let it out because I fear it won’t be good enough or maybe it will

But I have to give into it, I should let it out, because if I don’t I risk loosing it, risk it seeping into the back corners of my mind and there is a chance it might be recovered, but a bigger chance that it will be locked away and never found.

You see I am very easily inspired, seduced by people’s words, emotions, feelings and experiences

Something about it all inspires words to dance around in my mind, then something tells me quick, let it out, let these words come alive so that they can speak to more then just the shadows of my mind

But some words I don’t want to let out, afraid that they will open me up to much, afraid they will let out the pain

But I have to pull them out, I need the pain, I need that closure and I need to see what these words can become

So I pull them out, I try to find the words that hide in my ,mind

SO I let it out, I let my mind breathe, and if I can’t let it out now I repeat the words inside my brain so I won’t forget

And the voice returns constantly reminding me to let it out so I make reach my potential for greatness, here is my chance to make a difference, to create beauty or expose the truth or else my chanc can be gone

It will float away on the oceans on your mind

I owe myself that chance to let the words stain the paper and allow them to speak back and you reveal parts of me, sides of me that I never knew I had

Oh these words are like children, some like pubescent teenagers, thinking that they are ready to come out, ready to face the world, but some of these words aren’t ready, they need to wait awhile, they need to linger inside my mind so they can grow, grow enough to be read and understood by others

And if my mind could only rest, if only it could be at ease, but it rarely is

Like a heart needs to beat, my mind needs to think

And even as I write this poem the words seem to never end

I’m feeding off this inspiration, there are so many ideas floating around

If only there were more of me so I could capture every word and write it down

But instead there is only one of me, to contain this potential power, to unleash these unwritten words and let them make sounds